My husband was arrested in December 2020 for possession of child pornography. The year prior, he started working in the cafeteria of an elementary school. There was an article released about his charges the same time he was arrested so from the start, he did not have a fair chance. Even though his intent was not to download those particular images, the fact was that he technically possessed them. He tried to be honest with the police without a lawyer present, so they used it all against him to get him charged. Intent did not matter because he needed to pay someone to prove he did, in fact, delete the files before they were even finished downloading once he saw what they were. He hasn’t ever hurt anybody and has never wanted to hurt anybody. He’s an excellent father and husband and was always home with us if he wasn’t at work. Prior to working for the school board, he was in catering. The job had him overworked and underpaid but he still did what was best for us as a family. I stayed home with our daughters so that they always had a parent at home taking care of things.
He took a plea deal to avoid trial and possibly a much longer sentence in order to get back home to us. Our daughters were 8 and 5 at the time so he was worried he was going to miss out on a big chunk of time with them.
He is the type of dad to get them in the kitchen to cook with him, play games with them, garden, explore, read and teach them. He never missed the chance to hang out and be around myself and our kids. We were his number 1 priority. He’s missed out on 4 years so far and still has another year to go.
While he will be able to be home with us in a year and has it in his court paperwork that he IS, in fact, allowed to live with and be around his kids, there will always be challenges with him being on the registry. We have to be careful where we live – as it can’t be 2,500 within a school, park or place where children gather including bus stops. It’s very difficult to find out which places do not have school bus stops.
He also can never take our family to Disney World again. This is a person who never intended on seeing – let alone having – these photos on his computer. But we couldn’t afford a lawyer to fight these claims so he had to take what he could with a public defender.
Life will always be hard for him going forward. He will always be seen as a predator to people who don’t know better and will always have this terrible thing hanging over his head.
Not everyone convicted is an actual offender, predator or someone who should be labeled a pedophile. He was set to be labeled that way before official charges were even filed against him and it will always be that way even if he’s able to successfully petition to be taken off the registry. The damage is done. I wish more people knew how nuanced this all can be and that people deserve a chance to get out from under that label.
He will never get the time back with his kids. He will never get to go back and hang out with them in the years he missed. He doesn’t deserve what he got. let alone a lifetime of wearing a scarlet letter. He could have murdered someone and he would have less judgement than what will follow him for clicking a mouse. He would never victimize anybody and never has but will forever be seen as someone who doesn’t deserve a chance at any sort of normalcy or happiness.
Women Against Registry Family Foundation.
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Our organizations, Women Against Registry and WAR Family Foundation, do not support or condone illegal sexual activity based on state and federal laws, to include child or adult sex trafficking. We are not and have never been affiliated with any organizations that promote, support or condone sex between adults and minors.