24 years ago back in 1997 I had just turned 20 years old. I was living in West Texas just trying to figure out life. I had never been in any trouble and was new to West Texas from California.
During the spring/summer of 1997 I was again 20 years old and was hanging out with some friends when I was introduced to a girl who had just moved to west Texas also and had her own car, she smoked cigarettes and pot and liked listening to 90s hip hop and we just had a lot in common. She told me she was 19 and from south Carolina for the summer visiting family. Well needless to say we started dating for about a month or so. The apartment I was staying at had just given us an eviction notice for too many party’s and the south Carolina girl said I can stay at her house for the weekend while her and her mother are out of town. Sounded like a good idea and so she gave me the key and said just be out by Tuesday and make sure everything is clean.
That same night word got a around town that there was a party at this house. Now to be fair I did have a few friends over and were just drinking and relaxing but long story short by 9pm there were people just randomly showing up and that’s when the neighbors came over and said hey you have to leave the cops were on the way so we left. Never got to clean up or anything.
So Tuesday comes and the girl comes home with her mom only to discover a very messy home with bear cans and food all over the place.
I immediately get a call from the girl and her mother cussing me out and screaming at me and again to be fair I deserved every bit of yelling I got. Afterwards me and this girl never spoke again.
Well a few weeks later a police officer shows up at my new place and wants to ask me some questions. I’m thinking its about the party but I was wrong.
He immediately asks me if I know “the girl” and I go ahead and tell him the story of how we met and how I ended up in her mom’s house.
Then he tells me that she has filed a sexual assault case against me. This was her payback for the mess at her moms house. Obviously she got in a lot of trouble.
Anyways I explain in detail how we met, how we were dating and most importantly I never sexually assaulted anyone.
Well he had me come to the station for a statement and I told the truth. After being at the station for a few hours detectives come in and tell me that she LIED about the sexual assault and admitted she lied. So I’m thinking I’m about to go home when they proceeded to tell me she also lied about her age! She was 16 and I was 20 so they said I’m being arrested for sexual assault of a child! I couldn’t believe it! I was crushed!
So I get out on bond and my court appointed attorney tells me that they prosecutor understands the situation and is offering 4 years of probation and if I completed the probation I can get this off my record. Sounds fair to me so I took the deal. A year later I violated my probation by not having a stable address and my probation officer told me to prepare for time! I knew what that meant so as I sat in the county for a few months once again the prosecutor understanding offered 3 years which was a very minimal sentence. I took the deal and did my 3 years.
What I wasn’t aware of was that I would be subject to lifetime registration, being listed on the public registry of people with any kind of sex related conviction, with all of the restrictions on where I can be, and all the stress, anxiety, depression, misery, fear, humiliation and many other discomforting feelings that come along with it for a lifetime.
For 20 years I have survived this registry and it has not been easy! I’ve had to train my mind, train my body, transform my mindset to keep pushing and surviving the best I can. I have zero support or family to depend on and have purposely isolated myself from people and family just to find my way.
I have contacted several attorneys and don’t have the funds to fight this as strongly as I can but this will not break me.
The registry sucks and shouldn’t exist unless there is a registry for the car thief down the street, the gang member on the block, the person that punched someone in the face, the drug dealer and the person writing bad checks are on the registry as well. Why aren’t these crimes on a public registry? Is the person that stole a car forever a thief? Is the person that got into a fight and hospitalized someone a lifetime threat? If you got a DUI 20 years ago are you branded as a dangerous alcoholic for the rest of you life? The answer is no! Shit happens and that’s what prison time is for.
Someone needs to stand up and fight for this registry BS because it is inhuman, cruel and unusual punishment that is in total violation of international human rights.
I continue to fight to get off this registry and I hopefully one day I can have a small piece of my life back.
Last but not least I have documented my survival and willing to help anyone in need of how to survive and live while on this registry. I’ve been dealing with this for 20 years and I am not a therapist or a counselor or an attorney but I know what it takes to survive and I’m willing to do what I can for those in need of direction and guidance on surviving this.
And if the owners of this site want me to help I’m more than open because its time to stand up and fight this terrible registry. I will do my part!!
Thanks
Women Against Registry Family Foundation.
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Our organizations, Women Against Registry and WAR Family Foundation, do not support or condone illegal sexual activity based on state and federal laws, to include child or adult sex trafficking. We are not and have never been affiliated with any organizations that promote, support or condone sex between adults and minors.
