I grew up in a family upbringing where you knew where your children were at all times. You could trust the neighborhood and the people they’d associate with. Any issues, the community, and family dynamics addressed matters in a trustworthy fashion.
My daughter was raised on the other side of the map. Being biracial and raised on her Mother’s side of the tracks, she lived a life, in the absence of racial tension and was removed from a sense of self-worth and identity for being Black.
For 9 years of her life, she was abused by her step-father and kept it buried till one day she woke up to him doing the same to her 1/2 sister. He gets 10 to 20 on 1st-degree multiple accounts.
I’m introduced back into her life at this point and began a journey to help turn her life around. Although carrying out theories and ethics by which I was raised. Be aware of their whereabouts, school activity etc.
A year and a half later, I relocate the household to the inner city for better opportunities and enlighten her life. Yet I’m a protective, sometimes, helicopter parent. All along her Mother’s side of the family has a disregard for my daughter and reacts as the family is lifted up from the impoverished way of living they’ve been used to.
She searches for her sense of identity and acceptance, yet the city boys capitalize on her naive weekends and take advantage one day of her in the school bathroom. Days later I realize changes in her behavior and began investigating socialedia, her class assignments, etc. Result, a love/hate, hate/love relationship builds between us.
She comes home one day, after a couple of days of grief, and cries in the bathroom due to pain in her private area. Yet it’s a cry for help in identifying the issue at hand.
Unable to have a trustworthy female relative come and see into the matter, I address the issue myself. My upbringing takes control and kicks in.
We go into the bedroom where I take a look at her private area and notice discomfort. She has soreness, redness, and discoloration. I physically touch her there to examine the swelling, all lasting maybe a minute or two. Time moved so fast.
Call her mother and explain we’ve got to get her to the clinic soon as she’s home from work. The result, she contracted some pain due to what occurred at school.
Six months later, after shutting down her social accounts, and monitoring activity, as well as reporting the school matter to law enforcement; despite them closing the case, her Mother’s side of the family felt uncomfortable about the situation, after realizing all I’m doing and they report the issue to CPS.
They contact me, I remove myself from the home pending investigation, and during a Family Court Hearing, I get arrested for Sexual Misconduct in the 1st Degree.
Things are pled down due to circumstances, but due to criminal background (unrelated offenses), my minimum guidelines were 6 to 8 yrs and 7 months.
She stood by my side with my family throughout the proceedings, and a rift is drawn amongst her Mother’s side of the family. Ultimate sentence: 8 years 7 months to 15 years, 3rd degree CSC.
Michigan has a mandatory minimum so I do the full 8 and a 1/2 with no MDOC recommendations. Although I took the time to do Self Help, and numerous positive programs to better my chances of parole.
Receive parole first go-round, despite a C Prefix. Now I’m on parole for two years with a tether, but have to register for life.
This has been a life-changer for me, for the ethics, morals, and principles I was raised up on come back to bite me in my tail. I feel bad that I decided to raise my children in the same manner as I was. Yes believed it to be necessary for today’s time.
It was explained to the judge how the court system desires us to be parents: know where our children are, who they are amongst, protect them from abuse, monitor their activity, etc. And as a parent today, you want be in your child’s life.
Though I believed any time your child comes to you for help, out of trust, they rely on you. Yet a misinterpretation of helping them, protecting them, etc. leads a father to prison and having to register as a former offender for life.
And now, I can’t see my grandchildren even though my children desire me to be a Father/GrandFather.
So many of us are incarcerated for misinterpreted circumstances, that because you have no medical degree, you can’t tend to your child’s needs. Because parents can’t be parents,. That drives me, even more, to advocate to help others lead and have a better life.
Michigan’s parole system, and registry laws are so detrimental with restrictions, life is like being on needles and pins trying to become successful and alter the negative so many of us are under.
However I may be of assistance I’m willing to help. Please feel free to contact me via the given email for further discussion and disclosure.
I thank you for your time, patience and consideration.
Sharif A alMuhasib