Not what it seems.

When I was 19 I hung out with this family. I was part of their family. They had a daughter that was 12. She had a crush on me. Nothing strange. She kept flirting. I flirted back. Teasing her. Nothing more. The mother said for me to. That it was OK. Anyway she sat on my lap one day. I pushed her off and told her mom. Her mom said it was no big deal. It wasn’t my fault. Then later on she jumped on my back. Her brother walked in and saw and he told his mom. Her mom accused me of messing around with her. So I stopped going over there. Then one night the girl texted me to come hang out. She said her mom wanted me to be there to watch over them. So I went eventually even though I didn’t want to. I had a fiance at the time and she was the one that convinced me to go watch them. So I go. When I get to the house, the girl is all dressed up with makeup, skirt, hair put up, all that girl stuff. Her sister was on the couch with her bf. So I sat next to the 12. Her sister and the bf went to another room to have sex. I chewed the 12 year old out. I told her she should not be there. That she shouldn’t let her sister hoe her out. That she needs to go home. And I was pissed that she lied to me. Her mom didn’t know I was there. I freaked out and didn’t know what to do. I wanted to leave and call the cops because she was underage at some random dudes house with drugs and alcohol in the house. But then I didn’t wanna leave her there. I couldn’t tell her mom cause her mom thought I was messing around with her. So I stayed until they left. The girl was telling me how she felt about me and I was telling her no. I’m too old and she too young. Now I’m fucked up because I had thoughts about her that night. I thought about having sex with her but I never did. I never touched her or anything. So everyone leaves. The next day or so her mom calls and says she’s calling the cops for kidnapping her daughters and having sex with one of them. I told her go ahead. Apparently in the 12 year old’s diary it said she fantasized about having sex with me. But when I saw it in the police report, the “fantasy” part was erased. They did a rape kit on her and it came back clean. The family dropped the charges but the state picked it up. I didn’t have $20,000 to fight it. The court did not allow the victim to stand up for me. So I took a plea bargain. I got 7 years for sexual assault and have to register as sex offender. I used to pay her bills and watch her kids. I’m really not a bad person. I mean I was in the army when this all happened. I help people too much. I get used a lot. Only cause I allow it. I see it that people need help and I can help so I do. But not anymore. Only family and people I’m close with. I’m very positive. So now I stick to myself. People don’t welcome guys like me too much. Which is stupid as f*ck. I’m not a stereotype. I’m a “sex offender”, not a ” sexual predator”. I’ve always enjoyed playing with kids. Now it freaks me out to be around them because I’m scared someone might say something. I’m self conscious of this bracelet. I hate being judged some days but on others I don’t care. Thanks for taking the time to read my inadequacies and deficiencies. But this makes a part of my character and I accept it and own it. If people can’t take me at my darkest then they don’t deserve me at my brightest. Now, almost 15 years later, I have 3 kids, a wife, a house, and 2 cars. I have a college degree in IT that I cannot use because of a choice I made when I was young. Not only am I being punished but so is my family because I can not get aa good enough job to pay for all our basic needs and bills. I did have a factory job that paid decent enough but the harassment became unbearable there. The victim now wants to act in my stead now that she is old enough but it seems the state does not care. What’s done is done. Is this justice? Am I a pos and deserve to be miserable for the rest of my life?

(33 / 1)
The opinions expressed within posts and comments are solely those of each author, and are not necessarily those of Women Against Registry. Women Against Registry reserves the right to edit or delete any content submitted.
Leave a comment.