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I am a sex offender by association  

Joined: 2 months ago
Posts: 3
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My life has been affected in so many ways because of the registry. I have never even received a speeding ticket and yet I would classify myself as a Sex Offender by association.  My husband committed his crime back in 2005 and served 7 years in prison. He is on lifetime registration. Since 2005 he has not violated a single condition of his parole.  I have lost relationships, family and live my day to day life just trying to stay under the radar just to stay safe. I remind you that I have never even received a speeding ticket. I fear daily for the safety of myself and my husband because of the many people that believe that everyone on the registry is pure evil and are constantly looking for their next victim and that vigilante justice is o.k. The registry does not take into consideration the collateral damage it creates for family members. I have recently filed police reports for individuals contacting me posing to be detectives and police needing to know the location of my husband.  There is so much fear in that because we don't know what their intentions are. This would not be happening if the registry did not exist.  Currently I am living in Illinois, my husband is now homeless in Colorado.  I have had some very significant health issues over the last two years. Colorado does not have the medical services that I need and my insurance would no longer cover me to go out of state for care so  I needed to move to a state that did. I am homebound, I am unable to drive and my husband is unable to be with me to help me with day to day life because of the registry and all of the stipulations that are linked to it. We found a home that falls within registry guidelines and four months later we are still waiting for DOC to approve the address.  Until then, my husband has to stay in Colorado and we are using all of our finances to keep him in hotels.  I am so frustrated and saddened by this whole system. So many people are negatively affected by it. For the offender, after serving their time, they have the right to make a life for themselves.  To work, to have a home, and to have family.  For the families, they have the right to not live in fear, to have a family and a home and not to live a life where their rights and freedoms aren't continually being taken away. Its really sad to see the registry, which is  based on false statistics, has such a negative impact on so many people. I hope in my lifetime to see it abolished. 

Joined: 3 months ago
Posts: 5

On the other hand, a move to an area where people don't live in a Law and Order SVU television show may not be all bad. There are many fake moral people that love to flood the news with sex offense news. Even drug users are now deferred to special drug courts because it's really just an "illness". Therefore they too, are victims. How many pushers of drugs are on any list? How many shoplifters are on a list (don't stores have a right to be protected from these financial predators?) No one cares about facts. Recidivism is even distorted as more sex offenders go back to prison (due to self medicating to escape the wonderful second chance they've been given) than for a repeat sex crime.

Sorry you are going though this. There are areas that are easier than others to live. If I could, I'd live in Germany where the database is not published. They actually trust the cops to do their job and it works.

Joined: 12 months ago
Posts: 3

Would I be able to discuss your story (without giving your name or other personal information) on one of my vlogs or podcast episodes? I think it's important that the public understands how the registry affects family members.