My story started 3 years ago, although it’s been only a year since my boyfriend, we will call him, Haymitch (I’m an avid HG fan) was convicted because of our past friend, who I will call Toby, and her daughter, who I will call Paris.
We met Toby online on Facebook in late 2019, although no much came to fruition at that time, it wasn’t until March 2020 when we first met Toby, it was later after meeting Toby that we met her daughter Paris and what started the path down to self-destruction. We hung out with them often. Paris went to her dads every other week so she was not always there whenever we hung out, or if Toby would come over to our house to hang out. I quickly realized that Toby liked to drink a lot, as it seemed she was always wanting to drink whenever she came over, or if we were over there.
My boyfriend Haymitch has a CDL and he won’t risk his license. So if he drank, I was always the designated driver. I did not think much of it at the time, I just assumed Toby liked to drink and have a good time, and never saw anything alarming at first. So, I let it go. In July of 2020, Toby got me drunk, along with my boyfriend Haymitch. Paris was not there. It was just the 3 of us at our home. I swore after that night I never wanted to drink again, and 3 years later, I have maybe had a glass of wine, but just the thought of alcohol repulses me. Fast forward after that moment, it was then that I realized Toby had a problem, it seemed like she was always coming over and getting drunk, to the point she couldn’t drive. I think she thought it was okay, but I told my boyfriend Haymitch that I was tired of it. We broke up in October 2020 because I was not working and had lied about it because I was dealing with severe mental health issues. This is where the story really begins.
Toby stopped being friends with me a week after me and Haymitch broke up. She actually told me the day we broke up not to contact him, stating that she “knew how it was” and that if he wanted to contact me, he would. I thought it was weird but didn’t think much of it at the time, like I said a week later, she ended her friendship with me. She said she was tired of my “drama” and blocked me. I thought that would be the last time I would hear from her, but boy was I wrong.
In January 2021, Haymitch started getting back into church. We had talked frequently up until this point, as my car is in his name, but our relationship/friendship was strained. There had been a lot that happened in 3 months. Toby had constantly blocked and unblocked me off of social media, despite me never talking to her. Toby and her daughter were both blocked off my TikTok page, and Paris, her daughter actually reached out to me from a fake account, to apologize for how things had ended. I should also mention Paris at this time was 15. I thought all was well again and unblocked both her and her mother Toby, looking back, that was the worst mistake I could have made.
In March, my ex Haymitch sent me screenshots of Paris communicating with him on TikTok, cussing him out and accusing him of things that he didn’t do. I told him he needed to block her and disassociate himself from the situation. He didn’t listen and that was his biggest mistake. Toby ended up blocking him on Facebook and everywhere else, and he never talked to her or Toby again after that. It wasn’t until the end of May 2021, that things took a turn.
In May 2021, Haymitch contacted me about a call he had received from the county sheriff’s office saying he was a witness to something and that he needed to speak with him. He initially ignored it, thinking it was a scam, but then they called again and he made plans the following day to speak with them. He last talked to me before going inside. I remember expecting him to call me in 15-20 minutes and tell me it was a joke, but it would never happen.
Haymitch ended up speaking to the detective, who then asked him if he knew Toby & Paris and then went on to say that Paris said that Haymitch had touched her inappropriately on the outside of her clothing. He denied doing this but said that they also play wrestled, which was in front of Toby. He said if hands went anywhere, it was definitely not intentional and that he would never do anything to hurt her. Haymitch was then booked on a charge of indecent liberties and spent 4 days in jail before being bailed out.
I and Haymitch ended up rekindling our romance a week later, and I found a new job, and all was well for a few weeks until Toby found out I was back. I had blocked her after Haymitch was released from jail, as well as Paris, but they still managed to find me and Toby by creating a new account and leaving comments that she then deleted. I was only able to know this because Toby blew up my notifications so much, I was sent an email.
All throughout 2021, and even 2022, after his conviction in January 2022, Toby bullied and harassed me online, to the point that I got the law involved, and went for a no-contact order. Toby showed up to the court date and lied and said she had no recollection but made sure to tell the judge about Haymitch’s conviction. I was ultimately denied a permanent order after receiving a temporary one when I initially filed the paperwork. She sent me nasty messages, threatening me, and telling me that I’m as disgusting as Haymitch is, and how it says a lot about me knowing I can be with him knowing what he supposedly did.
My boyfriend has maintained his innocence and he took a plea to avoid jail time. He has a minimum of 10 years on the registry and 3 years of probation. I should also add the county was delayed in getting him on the registry for almost a month. Toby literally called the sheriff’s office because his name wasn’t on there. I have created new social media aside from Facebook, and I hope and pray Toby never finds me there.
This entire situation has affected me mentally to the point I have thought about ending it if you know what I mean. But thankfully I don’t feel that way anymore. I don’t wish this life on anyone, the registry doesn’t just hurt offenders, it hurts their families too.
Women Against Registry Family Foundation.
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