Just a sad man
My boyfriend accepted a plea deal for 18 months with work release to try to get this horror behind him. Turns out, you can't get work release if your a sex offender. It doesn't matter that your boss, friends, and myself were supportive. It doesn't matter if you have never been in trouble with the law or that you served your country. It doesn't matter that there was no contact with a child, no solicitation of a child, and a passed lye detector test. It doesn't matter that you have a diagnosis of bi polar and hadn't been taking your medicine and was spiraling into a breakdown. It doesn't matter that you were so distraught about how this would affect the lives of people you cared about, and that your friends with children would be afraid of you, that you attempted suicide. It doesn't matter that you were just a sad man with a porn problem, that was apathetic to what you were seeing because of your mental state. It doesn't matter that you weren't intentionally sharing images on the peer to peer website. Too bad, now your a felon. You're incarcerated long enough for your job to be terminated, your therapy that you had started discontinued, and your life to be harder and more depressing than it was.
Im so discouraged by our criminal justice system. I never thought I would feel this way, especially about this topic. I was molested by my stepfather when I was a child. I probably felt the way a lot of people feel about sex offenders. Now, I look at the registry and feel sad for the people on it. I wonder what got them in this predicament. I don't know what the answer is for these types of crimes, but I do know that if a person is not violent they should be able to support themselves and get treatment.
My boyfriend is a good man. A better man than a few I have had in my life. A kind man. A gentle man. A man that my daughter loves and feels safe around. A man that suppressed his problems and pain because men aren't supposed to be weak and need help. He needed help, not to be a felon that loses his job.
He got the, "you're being fired " letter a few days before Thanksgiving. Whoever wrote it said he was immoral, and a disgrace to the Department of the Army. He self reported and his coworkers and direct supervisor were very supportive, but the organization doesn't care about that. We thought we were going to keep our heads above water while he was serving his sentence because he qualified for VA disability. The Va has been pretty great by supplying him with his therapy and health benefits, and I don't want to dismiss how they stepped in to help him after his suicide attempt, but if your're in jail your disability is cut. The financial nightmare is starting, and I'm just so angry at his employer for not sticking by him. He was one of their best employees.
My husband went away for 10 years for viewing child pornography and now we have a son, a house, he’s doing well in treatment, and he has a full time job, and yet... he still pays for his crime almost every day. It’s unfair that after doing all that time and now being on supervised release for 25 years plus having to register for life he still pays so much more. We don’t even treat murderers this way and yet we treat sex offenders like they’re all ready to go out and do it again when the reality is that the recidivism rate is actually only roughly 3%... why is this continuing to go on? What do we tell our son when he grows old enough to know what is going on?
why is this continuing to go on? Exactly. Life sentence is wrong. there should be parole and supervision and be done with it. there are now 900,000 people on the registry. (thats what i read somewhere, i may be off a bit) it seems like a big money maker. im trying to learn every day how this is happening. i am so glad Vicki Henry has this group.