Unjust

3 years ago, I hired a new contractor in my company, which later would become my husband.  I knew about his conviction when hired him, and he was one of the best contractors in my company.  

I could right hundreds of thousands of words regarding every heartache we experienced, and the unjust and discriminatory ways of the laws in place that have devastatingly effected our life. I am working on a book, to dive into all this, but for now I hope to hear your individual stories too.

when I met this wonderfully fragile man, I was a divorced(after a 16 year marriage) prominently known businesswomen in my community, with an impeccably clean record, and a die hard rule follower.

my husband, prior to me knowing him, had been convicted of receipt of child pornography, he received a 7 year sentence, and 10 years supervised release.  At the time I met him he was on supervised release and had never violated.

We fell in love, not the whimsical kind, the kind where he cautiously courted me for 4 months, before even a single kiss and we learned all about one another piece by piece.  He has an artist's soul, and had something even more invaluably lost in today's society--  complete chivalry. 

Once we were dating for a month or so, he was required to inform his federal officer of our relationship, I met her, we discussed his case as she wanted to be sure I was aware of the details of his offense. Of course I was, I thought, because I am the queen of questions and I had asked them all... but I was wrong because what I found out was from the federal officer was he never opened the files, he "received" via lime wire.  As steadfast rule follower, this infuriated me, " you put him away for the better part of decade for files he didn't even open??"

my heart broke for him, and until that moment I had lived so blindly to our justice systems inadequacys.  

I signed the federal officers paperwork, allowing me to date him and also, signed off allowing my daughter(then 15) to be in his presence.  My ex husband also, agreed to meet federal agent to allow his only child permission to be in his presence and reside with me ... but the federal officer never did meet with him, the rest of the story is heartache & hope.

we moved in together soon after I signed that paper, but had to await officer to meet with my ex husband and approve my daughter moving in. She expressly informed me, " it will be no problem, just need to speak with your daughter and her father."  This would never occur, and  3 weeks after we moved in together, and sold my 7 bedroom home and incurred $ 4,400 in move in expenses later, she decided to change her tune.  She denied my daughter's right to live with me, and to even be on premises, and he wasn't even permitted to see my daughter in public. My ex husband, a senior chemistry manager of one of the world's biggest pharmaceutical companies, called the officer to ask why this was denied, no return call was ever given. I lawyered up, as I shared this terrible news with daughter and broke her heart and her belief in good.  Devastated, isn't even a large enough word to express all the heartache that followed.  My daughter  couldn't live with me, based on the approval from the officer I was originally given I had sold my home and spent a lot of money( and signed a year long lease with my husband) on a place my daughter was now not allowed.

the response to my "lawyering up" was the judge decided that my then fiancé was now not even allowed to live with me, and could no longer work for me.  WHAT?!?!  Imagine my horror, and I couldn't leave him homeless, as the homeplan approval was difficult. So, I was forced to leave the house we made a home, and move out on my own. I was also forced to pay for 2 leases now, because they left him once again unemployed.  We had a marriage date coming just 30 days after this judges decision.... on the date of our wedding, at the end of the evening..I kissed him goodbye as he went off in one rolls Royce to his home.. and I went off in other to mine.  Devastating.

After 8 months of fighting the system, I was finally once again given approval to live with him, but my daughter could not live with him, visit me, couldn't even be in his presence. How could they do this, you ask, simple... the unjust law allows them to.

ive had to visit my daughter at her dad's house down the road and make plans anywhere but my home to see her.  I have to avoid her if my husband is with me, even in gas stations and when we perform live music at the restaurant she works at she has to schedule off so that we are not in public places together..as that is part of the rules they are discriminatorily dishing out.  My daughter has never been able to get to know or even meet my husband-- this is 3 years later now.

my daughter, turns 18 in precisely 30 days. Since 6 months ago I have been formally requesting her approval to live with me... with completely no answer from the officer,once again I will be lawyering up come Mid November as it seems they are an outright mission to destroy his and our life.. My daughter has never been able to get to know or even meet my husband-- this is 3 years later.. and this is our story.