The Day My Life ended

I was 31 at the time I was arrested.  I had never been in trouble a day in my life before . I became homeless after my ex and I split up.  I had no job, no money, no nothing saved up . So I went to stay with my mom who was homeless in the back of his truck . She had mentioned that a friend of hers we’ve known our whole lives said that I can stay there as long as I clean the house. So I went to stay with her and her two sons and this is when my life changed for the worst . She kept telling me to hang out with her son because he was depressed. Well, I was too, but mind you I had a life and a boyfriend.  I was content in my life now that I found place to stay.  He was kind of a loner who had just started into high School – no girlfriend . She just wanted him out of her hair so she could do drugs and drugs she did . Kept trying to peep at me when I was in the shower.  You put the people from where he played for you games directly towards the shower. I had noticed it it was behind this mirror when I had moved the mirror I seen it I was enraged and creeped out and I went and told his mom and she said oh there’s no people and she never bothered getting up to look so I covered it myself and just went on about my business and he continued doing things like that to try to see me naked or what not and I was just ready to go but I still had no where to go . My boyfriend at the time knew the situation would let me stay a couple nights and then would never offer you can come stay with me and I kept desperately hoping he would he was cheating on me with this other girl that’s why he wouldn’t I found out later on . Anyways I drank a lot my mom said I needed to take a drink every now and again maybe it would chill me out so I did . Eventually I start drinking a lot more cuz I started to like it . He kept making please call me by trying to get his dogs to attack my dog when I was gone tell me who I am letting you stay in my room no his mom said I stay in the room cuz he slept on the couch most of the time anyways he was just trying to basically blackmail me or make me feel like I had to even at 15 years old he was trying to do this if I didn’t hang out with him he even tell his mom I stole something which I didn’t try to try to get me kicked out of there . I didn’t know what else to do. It happened One Time and I don’t remember much if I had been drinking by myself and basically they were fine him and his mother to find that as long as I still stayed and didn’t want to move out but I moved out I could not deal with that weird situation do any longer of being made to feel like I had to or I was going to get kicked out but I was trying to be a big sister to him that’s it . I feel so terrible for what I had done to him because ultimately I’m the adult. I knew better . Would never hurt my hair on anyone’s head as long a kid or teenager anyone . All I know is I do you want to be homeless anymore and I know I just wanted some more safe to go and it wasn’t there . I did all my probation ever since the 6 months in county jail three year joint suspension hanging over my head I swear I would never ever do this again I have blown my lesson but yes society won’t let me move on with my life to better myself and a job at least to stay all you contemplate is wanting to hurt yourself just stay in it all but I believe in God and I will not do that the thoughts still kind of answers your mind but I love God so much and my daughter I would never do such a thing but you feel such pain inside this is the worst thing anybody could ever possibly do if you have any kind of heart or conscience don’t ever do this !

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